Anyone that has a vested interest in Black men can take a close look and see that most Black men are hardworking, family-conscious, loving men; the epitome of masculinity and strength.
And the ironic part is that these are the "average" Black men.
They are the ones seen daily and known intimately.
Unfortunately, as a result of stereotyping and social disenfranchisement, many of us (and sometimes us women), forget about the so-called "average brothers":
the police officer, fireman, postal clerk, cable installer, plumber, mail carrier, service station owner, bus driver, subway conductor, token clerk, barber & delivery man
The "average," often-forgotten Black man is NOT in jail, does not over-indulge, isn't on a street corner at noon drinking a forty, smoking a blunt, does not rape old ladies, pilfer, dabble in "street pharmaceuticals," sire and then abandon his children.
You are not dangerous, violent, lost misogynists, in need of social programming to fulfill your basic human needs.
You are, as we are, children of God, born to fulfill a divine mission. That mission is buried in your souls, the one some of you lost at some point in your life.
Black men who are truly good inside AND out are concerned about the state of world affairs, the future of their communities.
These men are concerned with their OWN emotional well-being in a hostile society that stigmatizes them because of their skin color and the doings of those before them.
Many Black men are never heard, sometimes because they choose not to speak. Some choose not to speak for fear of not being acknowledged over the loud roar of others before them. When a person is not acknowledged, they lose their spirit.
When dealing with some of us who are used to nothing but toxic and counterfeit love, even when you do talk, we walk away choosing to believe that you've said something other than what actually came out of your mouths. Then we accuse you of being psychological terrorist, emotional batterers and liars and players.
For some of you that have exposed yourselves to a gamut of women pledging the mantras: "There are no good men", "All men are dogs","There are no good Black men out here", "A man can't do a damn thing for me".....................
The impact of them not being trusted (sometimes before you've even done anything), respected or loved has been the loss of their spirit and the depletion of their souls. Their will, desire and ability to live fully and sometimes, consciously, according to the true nature of their entire being as a man.
In more severe cases, lack of acknowledgement and lack of spirit will manifest in Black men as confusion, hopelessness, and a disrespect for life, self and other living things.
Many of the women I know have loved Black men. Some say they "hate" Black men for causing them pain.
Most of the time when we women congregate, no matter how our conversations begins, it ends with talk about..............Black men. Good, bad or indifferent, we talk about our Black men.
Whether we want to admit it or not, they are the center of our lives (yes, yours and mine) and conversations oftentimes.
Whether we're talking about loving them or complaining about them, Black men always show up in our conversations. We need to make them pop-up in our healthy and positive conversations versus the negative.
Myself, I have loved them, waited on them, waited for them, yearned for them, nurtured them, fought with them, cried with and for them like many of you have.
When we get dressed to attend a function, go to a social club, barbecue or whatever, we like to look our best hoping to be acknowledged, glanced at, complimented. We fix our hair, faces; smell sweet all in hopes of attracting a good Black man. Men do the same.
Why would any of us put so much focus on appealing to a race of men we believe are "no good?"
I dared to bring this subject up at the last 'girls tea night' we had on Monday. Initially, all I heard were crickets chirping, but Dina spoke first, "because we love the brothers....we just want to see change in some of them. And I guess, we hold all of them accountable for what other men have done. It might be wrong, but it's all I know......"
In contemplation after the tea, I realized that Black men have lost their souls and spirits due to a lack of acknowledgement and love from the women who should love them. In this instance, soul is the true essence of who you are.
They have lost their souls and spirits to fear, displaced mistrust and anger, suffering and pain of their women.
The search for the lost souls and spirits of Black men is the responsibility of both Black men and women. They are God given leaders and we must help them suit up for the journey so that they can love, support and nurture OUR wounded, lost souls.
If we truly want to know the end, we must first look at the beginning. The beginning for Black men and women is of royalty, strength, endearing love and support in the face of severe adversity (slavery and worse) yet they never gave up on one another.
And we shouldn't either.
If you doubt what I'm saying, run out and buy this book called, "When chickenheads come home to roost." It's an eye-opener that's worth every penny you spend.
And the ironic part is that these are the "average" Black men.
They are the ones seen daily and known intimately.
Unfortunately, as a result of stereotyping and social disenfranchisement, many of us (and sometimes us women), forget about the so-called "average brothers":
the police officer, fireman, postal clerk, cable installer, plumber, mail carrier, service station owner, bus driver, subway conductor, token clerk, barber & delivery man
The "average," often-forgotten Black man is NOT in jail, does not over-indulge, isn't on a street corner at noon drinking a forty, smoking a blunt, does not rape old ladies, pilfer, dabble in "street pharmaceuticals," sire and then abandon his children.
You are not dangerous, violent, lost misogynists, in need of social programming to fulfill your basic human needs.
You are, as we are, children of God, born to fulfill a divine mission. That mission is buried in your souls, the one some of you lost at some point in your life.
Black men who are truly good inside AND out are concerned about the state of world affairs, the future of their communities.
These men are concerned with their OWN emotional well-being in a hostile society that stigmatizes them because of their skin color and the doings of those before them.
Many Black men are never heard, sometimes because they choose not to speak. Some choose not to speak for fear of not being acknowledged over the loud roar of others before them. When a person is not acknowledged, they lose their spirit.
When dealing with some of us who are used to nothing but toxic and counterfeit love, even when you do talk, we walk away choosing to believe that you've said something other than what actually came out of your mouths. Then we accuse you of being psychological terrorist, emotional batterers and liars and players.
For some of you that have exposed yourselves to a gamut of women pledging the mantras: "There are no good men", "All men are dogs","There are no good Black men out here", "A man can't do a damn thing for me".....................
The impact of them not being trusted (sometimes before you've even done anything), respected or loved has been the loss of their spirit and the depletion of their souls. Their will, desire and ability to live fully and sometimes, consciously, according to the true nature of their entire being as a man.
In more severe cases, lack of acknowledgement and lack of spirit will manifest in Black men as confusion, hopelessness, and a disrespect for life, self and other living things.
Many of the women I know have loved Black men. Some say they "hate" Black men for causing them pain.
Most of the time when we women congregate, no matter how our conversations begins, it ends with talk about..............Black men. Good, bad or indifferent, we talk about our Black men.
Whether we want to admit it or not, they are the center of our lives (yes, yours and mine) and conversations oftentimes.
Whether we're talking about loving them or complaining about them, Black men always show up in our conversations. We need to make them pop-up in our healthy and positive conversations versus the negative.
Myself, I have loved them, waited on them, waited for them, yearned for them, nurtured them, fought with them, cried with and for them like many of you have.
When we get dressed to attend a function, go to a social club, barbecue or whatever, we like to look our best hoping to be acknowledged, glanced at, complimented. We fix our hair, faces; smell sweet all in hopes of attracting a good Black man. Men do the same.
Why would any of us put so much focus on appealing to a race of men we believe are "no good?"
I dared to bring this subject up at the last 'girls tea night' we had on Monday. Initially, all I heard were crickets chirping, but Dina spoke first, "because we love the brothers....we just want to see change in some of them. And I guess, we hold all of them accountable for what other men have done. It might be wrong, but it's all I know......"
In contemplation after the tea, I realized that Black men have lost their souls and spirits due to a lack of acknowledgement and love from the women who should love them. In this instance, soul is the true essence of who you are.
They have lost their souls and spirits to fear, displaced mistrust and anger, suffering and pain of their women.
The search for the lost souls and spirits of Black men is the responsibility of both Black men and women. They are God given leaders and we must help them suit up for the journey so that they can love, support and nurture OUR wounded, lost souls.
If we truly want to know the end, we must first look at the beginning. The beginning for Black men and women is of royalty, strength, endearing love and support in the face of severe adversity (slavery and worse) yet they never gave up on one another.
And we shouldn't either.
If you doubt what I'm saying, run out and buy this book called, "When chickenheads come home to roost." It's an eye-opener that's worth every penny you spend.
No comments:
Post a Comment
We appreciates all comments and fosters free speech, however, keep in mind that we have young readers who peruse our site. Having said that, please refrain from using profane language, and know that flaming will not be tolerated. Spam will not be tolerated.