Nationwide Dumb Crooks

Dim-witted drunk takes nap in police parking lot
A 22 year-old West Lafayette, Indiana man came up with a really stupid idea. First, he figured he'd have a few drinks and then go for a drive.
He got a bit sleepy so he decided to pull into a parking lot and take a little nap - with the engine running.
Pretty stupid, eh? Well, hang onto your hat, because the parking lot our dim-witted friend pulled into was a police parking lot - right in front of police headquarters.
He was arrested for drunk driving.
Beauty school robbery goes all wrong
A Louisiana man had a pretty good plan to get some quick cash. He decided to rob a Shreveport beauty school. Only one problem. The thirty or so women inside didn't want to be robbed. The brainy man pulled a gun on the instructor and demanded money, as well as the purses of the students and staff. The instructor tripped the robber and then a large group of women begin beating the man with curling irons and sticks. The man tried to get away but the women kept pulling him back in so they could beat him some more.
By the time police officers arrived, the man was covered in blood and had to be transported from the scene by ambulance.
Thief locks himself in car trunk
A Fresno, California rocket scientist decided to help himself to some items in the trunk of someone else's car. So he popped the lock, climbed right in and rumaged around, looking for anything valuable to take with him. As he tried to climb out, the trunk lid slammed down, locking him in.
A security guard, fearing a crime victime was inside, called police when he heard someone yelling and banging on the inside of the trunk.
He was then booked on two counts of theft.
You know me. Will you take a check?
An Alabama woman was jailed on charges of writing bad checks. So what does she do? She calls a bail bonding agent to bond her out and, you guessed it, paid him with a bad check.
The woman has a history of writing bogus checks, shoplifting, identity theft and robbery charges. The woman goes by a number of names - all stolen from others. When she gets caught, she blames her crimes on an evil twin.
She's back in the slammer - without her checkbook.
Hey, officer, let's party, dude!
If you've had way too much to drink, a police station probably isn't the best place to be - let alone party. However, that didn't stop a Toronto motorist.
The driver, with a bottle of rum beside him, mounted the curb and pulled up beside an officer directing traffic. The driver told the officer he was headed north but pulled over, saying he could see a party and wanted to join in, acting Staff Sgt. Jed Handy said Tuesday.
Problem was, the party was part of the Police Week festivities at 31 Division.
"The officer went to talk to him and sees an empty bottle of rum and a half bottle of rum in the seat of the car," Handy said.
Man reports to probation officer in stolen car
A Tampa man, already on probation for auto theft, is back behind bars after deputies say they caught the guy visiting his probation officer in a stolen car.
"This fellow was on probation for auto theft and he chose to report to his probation officer driving a stolen car," stated Major Ron Spiller of the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.
It really didn't take a lot of police work. There aren't many Honda Accords with Washington State plates reported stolen in Hillsborough County, Florida. The one in question had been reported stolen a week earlier.
Also, the ignition column had been punched out and a screwdriver was needed to start the car.
Dumb drunk with a dumb attorney
My sister is a Largo, Florida police officer. Years ago she related this story to me of a drunk driver they arrested. The road side stop was done, he failed all his tests. At the police station the tests were repeated on a flat floor to avoid any claim of the road surface hampering his ability to pass the sobriety tests and it was videotaped for showing in court. The man pleaded not guilty.
During the trial the defense attorney tried everything he could to discredit the officer, the road side tests, the type of tests, that even on the flat floor of the station he claimed the tests were unfair. To prove his point he asked to play the video the police took at the station (here is where it became obvious the attorney hadn't watched the tape and was from the same gene pool as his client) for when the tape started, it showed his client obviously very drunk asking if the judge would see the tape at his trial. The officer said "yes" where upon the drunk looked at the camera and flipped the middle finger of his right finger at the camera while saying "_ _ _ k you judge!"
Needless to say they promptly changed their plea to no-contest and begged forgiveness of the court. He got the maximum sentence and fine.
Man grows marijuana 50 yards from Police Department
A 20-year-old is facing multiple charges after marijuana plants police say he was growing were found about 50 yards from the Georgetown, South Carolina City Police Department.
Georgetown County Sheriff's Office agents on Thursday arrested the Dekalb Street resident after a monthlong investigation, according to a news release issued Friday. Agents found and seized 55 marijuana plants - with a street value of around $66,000 - from the residence and the woods behind it.
Police said the man, who was inside the home at the time of the search, was arrested without incident. He was charged with manufacturing marijuana; possession with intent to distribute marijuana; possession with intent to distribute marijuana a half-mile from Georgetown High School; and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Condom man goes to jail
A man in New York thought he'd surprise a female jogger in Central Park. He hid behind a tree and took off all his clothes and waited. Then, when she approached, he jumped out at her wearing only a condom and a smile. The woman, an off-duty NYPD officer, wasn't smiling. Neither was the flasher when she hauled him off to jail.
Thanks to our friend Wayne D. Cowey for sharing the following four stories from Biloxi, Mississippi
Putting the mask on AFTER they are on camera.
This happened in 1994 in Biloxi at one of the casinos. Some men entered the casino to rob it. Since walking into a casino with ski masks on would be a strong tip off before they were in position, they waited until they were at the cashiers that they were going to rob and then put the masks on. That would not have been too bad if they had been from out of town and unknown to the casino. But they were local residents. In fact - they were employees of the casino. Worse, ALL of them worked for the casino security department. They left, went straight to one of their homes to divide to loot, and were arrested within minutes.
Busted playing blackjack
It was the mid 1990's in Biloxi, MS. All the local casinos had shared data links so that security information could be instantly sent to each other. A man robbed one casino and fled. His picture was instantly sent to all the other casinos so they would know if he entered another casino to try to rob it. He did enter a casino that was just down the road, sat down and began to play blackjack with the money stolen from the first casino. He had not even changed clothes and was still wearing the same bright red ball cap. He was promptly "busted" at the blackjack table.
Bank robbers busted the same way
A guy robbed a bank in the area and his picture was plastered all over the papers the next day. A couple of days later he came in to play blackjack. Security cameramen had picked him up before he even sat down. Police were called. Also the dealer recognized him and alerted the pit boss. She shuffled the six deck shoe to delay him, and he was arrested before a hand was even dealt.
Arrested playing poker.
A drug deal in the Carolinas involving an entire 18-wheeler of marijuana had gone bad, and our crook made off with the money while the police arrested the others. He decided to lay low, by hanging out in the largest poker room in the South, the poker room at the Grand Casino in Biloxi, where he played several times a week. His method of laying low was to play flamboyantly, although he stayed at the low stakes table, and soon everyone came to know him. But the largest poker room in the south attracts many people from outside the local area, and eventually someone from his old area showed up, saw him, and reported him for the reward. The FBI made the arrest while he was in the middle of a poker hand. He said to the G-men, "Let me finish this poker hand and I'll go quietly." They did, he lost the hand and left politely, under their escort. Actually, I think he was lucky that the FBI found him before some of his old friends did.
Pardon me, Officer. Are there any warrants out for me?
The Delaware State Police, was shutting down part of Interstate 95. A crew member, in a momentary lapse of intelligence, went up to one of the officers and asked if he could check and see if he had any outstanding warrants. Well it turns out the little genius did in fact have a warrant. There was a bench warrant issued in Maryland for him for assault on a woman he was involved with there. The officer jumped up out of his car and cuffed our friend and waited for another car to come pick him up.