A NY DAILY NEWS EXCLUSIVE: 'Barack and Michelle'...

tells story behind domestic tension...that nearly ruined the Obamas' marriage

"Now, on this chilly morning in early September 2001, all those questions vanished. At this moment, Barack and Michelle were asking themselves only one thing: What was making their infant daughter so agitated?The doctor uttered words that would remain with Michelle and Barack for a lifetime. "I think she may have spinal meningitis," he told them. "It's important that we get her to the emergency room right away."

There was something different about the screams this time. They were more piercing, more frantic and insistent. As usual, it was Michelle who climbed out of bed first and made her way to Sasha's room while Daddy stayed in bed, hoping his 3-month-old daughter would quickly be lulled back to sleep.

The baby would not be consoled. Barack finally threw back the covers and plodded down the hall. "Jeez, Michelle," he asked, "can't you get her to stop?" Michelle, who gently cradled Sasha, shot her husband a withering glance.


The baby would not be consoled.

Barack finally threw back the covers and plodded down the hall. "Jeez, Michelle," he asked, "can't you get her to stop?" Michelle, who gently cradled Sasha, shot her husband a withering glance.
It was a look he had grown accustomed to since the birth of their first daughter, Malia, in 1998. Michelle, like so many other working mothers, was the one expected to bear most of the parenting burden that only intensified with the birth of Sasha.
A nagging concern she wasn't afraid to share with him directly - and repeatedly - was that he seemed willing to put politics ahead of the family.
"You only think about yourself," she would say to him again and again in a tone dripping with disdain. "I never thought I'd have to raise a family alone." Barack, convinced that whatever time he devoted to his career would ultimately benefit his wife and daughter, shrugged off the criticism.



"Barack just doesn't seem to care what I think," a frustrated Michelle complained to her mother, Marian Robinson. "He can be so selfish - and I just can't get through to him that we're supposed to be in this together."
At one point, she went so far as to question whether, after eight years of marriage, their days as a couple were numbered.
For his part, Barack was also fed up with reprimands that he felt were "petty and unfair." Barack thought it odd that Michelle complained about being saddled with most of the child-care responsibilities, since for years she had been heartbroken over not being able to conceive. After four years of trying, she had talked to friends about fertility clinics and adoption.
Absorbed in his nascent political career, Barack seemed oblivious to the trouble brewing at home. Michelle, a meticulous person, set a high standard, one that Barack, who left ashtrays filled with butts and didn't pick up after himself, was either unable or simply unwilling to live up to. When Michelle did erupt, it often triggered arguments that would last for days.
"Like a lot of husbands," said one of her friends, "Barack couldn't figure out what her problem was. All her complaints about him being a slob, well, he thought they were petty. You know, it was ‘Why are you bothering me with this crap while I'm busy changing the world?'" READ MORE HERE