Is Snooping Always an Unexcuseable Act?

By Alicia Cruz
Editor-in-Chief
Theblackurbantimes

Every one of us knows that one of the golden rules in life is to stay out of other people’s things. We hate it when our privacy is violated and loathe the nosey wrongdoer, right?

Why is it that some of us women don’t adhere to this policy when it comes to our boyfriends or husbands? Is this separate from the golden rule because we’re in an intimate relationship where our hearts are on the line?

How many of you are guilty of snooping through a boyfriend's things because you thought he was guilty of cheating? How many of you felt you had every right where your health or relationship were concerned?

Last week, I had a friend tell me that his girlfriend had obtained his social security number and began checking his credit report to see what items he may or may not have bought. When she found out that he had inquired into buying a cell phone, she flipped and forbade him to get it. When I asked him why she would do such a thing, he replied, “Control. And she doesn’t trust me because I’ve cheated on her in the past. She’s afraid if I get a cell phone of my own, she wont be able to see who I’m calling.”

Is this type of snooping acceptable because the woman has been cheated on?

I realize that snooping and prying are some of the most undignified acts any woman can commit, but suppose you had to snoop through your mans things in order to confirm a suspicion that your mate may have an incurable STD or to find out if your mate were cheating on you or if he/she were on drugs or something of that nature? Would that be different from just nosey snooping and therefore acceptable?

I learned a long time ago that getting to the truth is important, but how you get to it is as equally important. I don’t know if all acts of snooping are outright wrong for any reason, but I know that in this day and age, with all that’s out here, we have to be very careful.

But where a relationship is concerned we have to have trust and dignity. Snooping is a fear-based response in some cases. It demeans and devalues the one who does it and the relationship itself. It proceeds from a position of weakness and desperation, rather than strength and assertiveness. It reduces the most refined and intelligent women, instantly transforming them into blobs of paranoia and rage (depending on what they find).

Some men, guilty or not, will not feel obligated to explain anything found by means of snooping.

What say you, readers? Is snooping – no matter the reason – inexcusable or are there exceptions to this golden rule? Let me know what you think.