From Jay-Z to Wiz Khalifa: Is domestic bliss now ‘dope’ in hip-hop?

by Rashad Drakeford |

 Photo Credit: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images for BET 

Growing up listening to rap in the late 90’s and early 2000’s was an amazing period for the genre.
You could turn on the radio and hear hits from artists ranging in geography and sounds. Although the diversity of artists was at an all-time high, the topics and content within the music were very narrow in scope. There was a period in the early 2000’s where hip-hop as a culture had a heavy focus on the sexual misconduct of men.
This focus led to an Oprah town hall on hip-hip and a BET series titled “Hip-Hop vs. America”. Songs like Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’”, 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P.”, and Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz’s “Get Low” were Billboard chart-toppers. Music videos for “The Whisper Song”, “Suck It or Not”, and “Salt Shaker” featured scantily clad women as props with misogynistic lyrics to match.
It didn’t just stop at the music, it was all a part of a larger lifestyle. Snoop Dogg crystallized this with his controversial red carpet appearance in 2003, when he attended that year’s MTV Movie Awards with two women wearing dog collars around their necks attached to leashes held by the West Coast rap icon.

The Obama effect
Over the past five years, hip-hop has become much more of a balanced genre. It’s like hip-hop went from being that teenage boy going through puberty to that late 20-something looking to settle down.
We’ve seen a cultural shift over the past few years in the black community. The emergence of Barack and Michelle Obama in 2008 has played a large role in this. For many young black women, Michelle Obama became an instant role model – a beautiful, educated, and strong black woman who has a man that adores her and tells the world that every chance he gets.
They symbolize the definition of black love and unity. Furthermore, outside of them being the first black first couple, what made the Obamas different is that they aren’t just black, they are black and cool. We haven’t seen this type of black family regularly appearing on our TVs arguably since The Cosby Show which went off the air in 1992.
My parents who are in their 50’s constantly refer to the Obamas as the “real-life versions of Cliff and Clair Huxtable”. They make love cool.


Being in love is ‘cool’
Jay-Z has become one of the biggest cultural influencers of our time.
When Jay said he was trading in his jerseys for button ups, the world followed suit. When he said Reeboks were cool, the world followed suit. When he started drinking Ace of Spades over Cristal, the world followed suit. So it was no surprise that when he started talking about his love for Beyonce through his music that others took notice and yearned for that type of love.
On his latest album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, Jay has eleven references to Beyonce, some subliminal and some more clear. On the track “Part II (On The Run)” Jay-Z raps:

“… Deeper than words, beyond right. Die for your love, beyond life… They ain’t see potential in me girl, but you see it. If it’s me and you against the world, then so be it”

Jay isn’t the only hip-hop artist talking about love through his music.
Nas, who many consider to be the “conscious of hip-hop”, not only talks about marriage on his latest album (Life Is Good) but ridicules men who decide to keep “playing the game.”
In one of his most introspective tracks, “Bye Baby”, Nas talks about the highs of his marriage with Kelis and the heartbreak of divorce.
But on the last verse he takes a shot at all the men who ridiculed him for getting married by saying:

“… And all I seen was selfish cowards, under their breath saying why did Nas trust her but speak louder bro. You live with your babymoms and scared to make an honest woman out of her and make her your bride. Fake pimps you ain’t even alive.”

Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa have also joined the ranks of soon-to-be-married/married men in hip-hop recently. Some have called their relationships everything from “odd” to “ridiculous” to “a publicity stunt.”
Many have questioned Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa’s decisions to be in relationships with women who have had very public relationships and connections to multiple men. But there may be a lesson for hip-hop and the larger society here.
Should a woman be judged on her past and not on her character, how she treats her partner, how she makes that partner feel and the like?
Shouldn’t we all be judged on who we are and not who we have a past with? When talking about his relationship with Amber Rose in 2011, Wiz Khalifa said “I’m young and in my past before I wasn’t always with (just) one girl, or usually rappers aren’t, you know what I’m saying? It’s not really regular for a rapper to be like, ‘This is my girl and this is the only woman that I’m going to be with.’ But it just makes sense to me, and that’s how I really feel. And I just put that out there and everybody who embraces me, they have to embrace that as well.”
When sarcastically asked, “Who are you?” He responded, “I’m an example”.
When I think about Jay-Z, Nas, Kanye West, and Wiz Khalifa, there is something they all have in common when it comes to not only this topic but their music and their lives: they are all comfortable with who they are as men and do not mind being leaders in everything that they do. Going to back to Nas’ line in “Bye Baby”, they’ve decided to “make an honest woman” out of the women in their lives. That is something we all should embrace.
Having Jay-Z, Nas, Kanye West, and Wiz Khalifa being public about their relationships, their experiences, and their love for their women is a big deal for hip-hop for multiple reasons. They all touch different sub-groups within rap, they all have a level of crossover appeal, and they all have core followers who admire what they do and do what they do.
In a culture known (rightfully or wrongly) in mainstream America for being anti-women and inherently violent, this will ultimately help change perceptions not only within the culture of hip-hop but outside as well.

Just a fad?
Some say this all may just a fad within hip-hop just like jerseys, FUBU, and Hummers. I disagree with that notion and believe that we have moved into a new era.
With the emergence of the term “Power Couple”, the culture and the people understand the importance of that partnership.
Hopefully this cultural change permeates into mainstream culture as well.
Marriage has seen a steep decline in the United States over the last 50 years. According to the Pew Research Center, only 55 percent of whites, 48 percent of Hispanics, and 31 percent of African-Americans are married today. All have seen drastic declines since 1960. Studies have consistently shown that married couples are more likely not to be in poverty and are more likely to raise children who succeed academically and economically.
If anything, for the future of America, everyone should embrace this new era. Hip-hop consciously and subconsciously has increasingly had an effect on mainstream America. Time will tell where we net out.

One thing is certain, in the words of Oscar Wilde, “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”
If we learn anything from Jay, Nas, Kanye, and Wiz, remember no one wants to be a sunless garden with dead flowers. It’s ok to love! It’s cool!

Rashad Drakeford is a sports & entertainment marketing consultant based in New York City. Follow Rashad on Twitter @RDrakeford.