MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

*Names changed

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.

* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.

* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators and the catting begins after you all leave about who paid more or less.


MONEY

* A typical man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale... then complain when it breaks after one use or breaks her skin out.


BATHROOMS

* A typical man's bathroom is stocked with essentials: toilet paper, mouthwash, toothbrush and toothpaste, bandaids, alcohol, peroxide, a cleaning product, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. We'll have two of this, three of that, six of this and several items we either haven't ever used and won't.


ARGUMENTS

* A woman has to have the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
* A typical man says maybe six words and within those six are the beginning, end and bottom line.


FUTURE

* Some women worry about the future until she gets a husband.

* Some typical men never worry about the future until they get a wife.


SUCCESS

* Some successful men are those who make more money than their wives can
spend.

* Some successful women are the ones who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

* Some women marry a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't..

* Some men marry a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

* Some women will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail..

* Some men will dress up for weddings and funerals. [and sometimes then only
under duress]


NATURAL

* Some Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

* Some women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

* Some men are vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

LOL

Send this to women who have a sense of humor and who can handle
it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.