Permission Slips

Sherri Shepherd, co-host of ABC's Emmy Award-winning talk show 'The View,' entertains and alternately pains readers in her must-read memoir about life's hard lessons. In 'Permission Slips: Every Woman's Guide to Giving Herself a Break,' Shepherd doles out forgiveness to herself and every woman who strives to achieve perfection but slips up sometimes.

In between taping her new Lifetime sitcom, 'Sherri,' and co-hosting 'The View,' Shepherd took time out recently to speak to AOL Black Voices about life and her new book.

Black Voices: How did you come up with 'Permission Slips,' which is a great idea by the way?

Sherri Shepherd: We, as women, take on so much in our lives that we need to give ourselves permission to let it go. That's where it came from. Sometimes we need to write ourselves a permission slip.

BV: What is it like working as a co-host on 'The View'?
SS: Just this morning, I was walking up the stairs with one of the executive producers, and I was like, "I cannot believe that this is my life." When I watch 'The View,' I say to my son, "I can't believe that that woman is me sitting between Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck." It feels like a dream.

BV: Do you feel like you represent every woman?
SS: I do represent the average woman. I remember before Elisabeth went on maternity leave, she asked if I had read the health care bill. I said, "That's like 400 pages!" But here is what I do know. My sister has five children. She works as a nurse's assistant and she doesn't have health insurance for her kids. She prays to God that her kids don't get sick. That is why I am for universal health care. That is how I break it down. I don't have to read 400 pages, but I know real people who work hard and they don't have insurance or they lost a job. So I would like universal health care or a government option for the average American.

BV: You write about your ex-husband's infidelity with such humor that it doesn't sound true. He cheated on you with a white woman 15 years younger and you were pregnant at the same time. Was humor part of the healing process?
SS: It is true. I just started doing stand-up comedy routines about it, because when it happened, I couldn't get out of bed. I went through a period when I was so depressed and had a hard time trying to figure out what to do. There was so much fear. I didn't know if I was going to make it. But I've gotten so many e-mails from women saying, "I went through the same thing." It's unbelievable. Even when I hear stories today, I sit at the table and think, "What is going on with the world? Does every man cheat?"

BV: You look great. Did a diabetes diagnosis force you to change your lifestyle?
SS: When I had pre-diabetes I never took care of myself, and then it just hit me that my mother passed away when she was 40 years old from complications of diabetes because she never took care of herself. So, when I hit that age, I said I didn't want to do the same thing to my son. I lost my mother when I was in my twenties, and I needed her. I started going to the gym. I made a lot of lifestyle changes. Even now when I go to gym, I picture my ex-husband with another woman and my son calling that other woman mommy. It fuels me on to do that one more squat and to get on that treadmill. I'm not going to have another woman raise my son. Or have a woman in his life to teach him how to treat women. It's not fair to leave our children without a legacy. That's what really spurs me on.

BV: What's next for you?
SS: Well, I have my book, which I'm really excited about. And I hope that all of these funny stories and anecdotes from my life will get women to say, "If this girl can go through her stuff and still have a smile on her face then I can, too!"

I also have my show, 'Sherri,' on Lifetime and the movie 'Precious,' which opens on Nov. 6. I didn't realize 'Precious' was going to be so big. The sheer magnitude of the film just blows me away, and I'm glad Lee Daniels chose me for the movie. It's my first dramatic role. I just feel really blessed in my life.