Chronicles of an insomniac night 1 by @odiggler

So its 2:30 am and I down stairs in my house wondering why the hell I'm watching "the real house wives of Atlanta" before they were "stars" marathon. If your reading this,  I would like to first thank you for taking the time to read this and any other article or story that I have written.  I cannot say with absolute certainty that I know what this blog post will be about. All I can say is I will type and what ever forms in my currently heavy mind will appear on this page. I will say exactly what I feel, and how I feel as I feel it. I feel weird just typing my thoughts so I will write this as if you and I are talking and that will be our format. So guys and dolls in the immortal words of the Joker

here....we......go.......


I'm an ass hole some days....well most days..... and I don't know if that's a good thing or not at this stage in my life. I remember when I was younger I would be the "comedian" amongst my friends I would make everyone laugh, I would make sure I had all the Latest clothes, and at the end of the night and its time for everyone to get "booed" up I was left alone. I was the funny, and chubby friend. I was insecure and self conscious of my looks and my weight, I cant even believe I just  said that out loud. (Have you ever been insecure or self conscious? how did you deal with it?) But the fact remains I was insecure. The whole nice guy mentality or personality that i showed to women just did not work.  It wasn't like I was a push over, I just couldn't help but to keep throwing myself in the friend zone.  I was an embarrassment.....A hopeless romantic who over complimented women with the hopes that some poor woman would pity me or be too loose off the mojitoes to care that she was about to sleep with the chubby guy.

Then I switched to being rude and obnoxious and that's been working fine ever since. But the older I get the more I feel I shouldn't have to resort to anything outside my character to meet women. But the fact remains I do. The meaner I am to women the more They seem to be attracted to me. Which at the end of the day I guess is OK but eventually I would like a woman to love me for me and instead of the "asshole" I play on TV.

I met a woman recently and she is gorgeous, she is smart, she is a model:)!!!!!!

What? don't make that face at me...I'm not lying she is a model......

We like the same things and we have fun together, and she makes me laugh. and if you have known me for longer than 20 minutes you know I LOVE TO LAUGH, and lately laughs are hard to come by so she is a breath of fresh air but i digress. 

Have you guys ever felt like you don't measure up and or meet the standards have set for your self?

Do the people around you minimize your accomplishments?

Because as of right now this is what I feel like.

Tell me how you feel, leave a comment and if you have any words of wisdom or advice for me about how I feel I would love you guys help.

thanks for Listening to me Leave your comments lets talk!!!!!!!!