#AskEmily 7.15.2012 "The Sidepiece"

Hey girl. I've been my boss's sidepiece for almost 5 years now. He always says he's gonna leave his wife but never does. He doesn't treat me bad, but I want more. What do I do?

Tamara

Tamara,

Sometimes, you have to look deep into a situation and sometimes, the answer is right there in your face. The answer to your question is right in your face. Let's break this down.

#1. SIDEPIECE

That's it. We have all heard the phrase ' know your role'. You have put yourself in a situation where you have allowed a married man to have you in his life for more than a friendship and when you take on a role as the woman on the side, you have know your role. Your role is one of control. 5 years of a relationship where you are giving him what he wants and you aren't getting what you want back should resonate with you. If you were in a 5 year relationship with a single man that was giving you nothing in return to what you were putting out wouldn't go on because you would leave him. This is a married man and you have yet to leave. There is something wrong with this picture.

What you should do is find your own man. Like the old saying does--how you get 'em is how you lose 'em--even if he left his wife for you, how would you feel once he leaves you for the next woman in the same manner that he left his wife? Put yourself in the wife's shoes. How would you feel if you found out that your husband was participating in extramarital affairs?

You will not get more than what you are getting. If you want more, it is your best bet to find your own man that can focus on you and your needs.

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