#AskEmily 8.2.2012 "Video Model"

Hey Emily.

I'm a video model and I have a bad body. Photographers are always trying to get in my pants. I need more pics for my portfolio. Do I give them some? I'm low on money! Help!

Video model w/lots of followers

Miss Video Model,

There are two reasons chicks get in this game--for money or for fame.

If photographers are trying to get in your pants, what makes them different from the average Joe on the corner or from your old neighborhood trying to get in your pants? The photographers can't do anything to get you to the top. Sleeping around for a PORTFOLIO--I'll say it again--SLEEPING AROUND FOR A PORTFOLIO--PICTURES?! Sleeping with a PHOTOGRAPHER will not get you money. It MAY get you pictures and it will DEFINITELY get you nothing short of a reputation.

Look at the other models in the industry. Every day, you see models that were in and on the cover of magazines all of a sudden doing porn. Why? There is no money in this game. Why is there no money? Because there are chicks that's willing to give up the twat and take a bottle patron as payment for a feature role in a video. On the other hand, you see porn stars wanting to become models. Why? Because they made their money & that isn't for them anymore.

If you came in this game to make money, I will warn you ahead of time & tell you there is no money in modeling. If you came in this game to sleep your way to the top because someone compliments you then you are sleeping with the wrong person--the photographer can't do anything but take your picture--sleep with the man paying the photographer to shoot you. If you want pictures for your portfolio and you want to preserve your image and reputation, the answer is simple--PAY FOR THEM!

Sleeping with the photographer only makes it hard for the women who want to honestly work and earn it. Being in a room half naked with a man who you don't know with a camera telling you that he will take it if you don't give it to him--ever had that happen? I have. Why did it happen? Because women like you thinking sleeping with the photographer will get them what they want. All that does is give these photographers the feeling that every chick is like that and that isn't the case. Some of us aren't like that.

Would you sleep around for followers? Would you sleep with your boss in hopes to getting a raise? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you would sleep with a photographer for pictures.

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#AskEmily 8.2.2012 "The Side Chick"

Hey Emily.

My side chick wants it all the time. She knows I'm involved, and I don't know what to do. How can I satisfy this chick without my girl getting upset?

Well...it seems as if you have the best of both worlds. You have two girlfriends. The question you have to ask yourself is which would hurt you more if you did not have them in your life.

The last time I checked, the side chick was just that--a chick on the side. Bang her in the back seat of the car or on the side of a building. You aren't even supposed to get naked with the side chick! You are SUPPOSED to pull it through your boxers, your pants should be around your ankles, you pull your shirt up, get yours, wipe your dick off with a sock and keep it moving. She isn't supposed to feel any sort of entitlement and you aren't supposed to make her feel like she's wanted. She knows her role and the fact that you are even attempting to appease her when you have a woman--the lines of a side chick are becoming blurred.

If you give her GOOD all of the time, she will want it ALL OF THE TIME. Your woman is the only one that should be getting the grade A+ dick. She is the one that you are supposed to be rolling around in bed with naked and spooning with afterwards. The side chick should only get C- or D+ dick--at best. If you treat her like she is supposed to be treated and not give her what you give your woman, when you call her, she will think twice about letting you slide through--scratch that. She will think twice about answering the phone because she knows that's all she's good for and eventually, she will eliminate herself and you won't have to make these decisions.

At the end of the day, if you have actually entertained the thought of satisfying the side chick, you've probably said to her, in the heat of the moment, that you would leave your girl for her and women don't forget these things. If you were smart, you would make your woman happy and not cheat on her. If your woman is smart, she is sleeping around on you. So, if your girl left you for another man because she found out that you were cheating and your side chick found her own man that she didn't have to share, what would you do? Now you have neither one! Your decision should be about choosing who is better for you and not about how to keep them both around.

Now, who are you willing to LOSE?

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#AskEmily 7.15.2012 "Minute Man"

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and he is the definition of a man. He's everything I could ever want, well... Almost. Our sex life at best is pretty good there's one issue he ejaculates waaaaay to quick and it's so frustrating what can we do to stop this from happening?

I've experienced this many times over. There are some things that are just out of our control. This is one of them. I've never had the patience to stick around and see what we could do to work on it because I would bolt on them before I give it a chance. That isn't always the best solution to a problem.

Sex is a very important part of a relationship. If you love him enough, you will work with him. It may just be because he's excited. Ever seen a dog so excited that he pees the entire time that he's jumping around? Yeah--like that. It is your job to calm him down. Take away some of the anxiety because the only thing that may be on his mind is to not ejaculate so quickly and it still happens. You may want to put him in an uncomfortable place yet a more exciting position. If he comes quickly when it's just the two of you, what would he do if you were in a place that there were a lot of people around? If you tried him in the bathroom of a bar, he is going to have to force himself to not come so quickly because he is around lots of people--he wouldn't dare walk out in a bar with a wet spot in the front of his trousers so he will have to gain some sort of control. Sometimes, we have to put men in those settings to train them in the way that we want them to go. Who knows--that may be the best sex of your lives because it gives you both something else to focus on rather than have that 'I wonder how long this will last' mentality. Try it.

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#AskEmily 7.15.2012 "Threesome"

Hey. My husband wants to invite his "friend" into our bedroom to spice things up. What do I do? Should I say yes? She's very pretty..fyi.

Chantel

Chantel,

I have to be honest--I have never done a threesome so this is not my expertise BUT personally, when a man has someone on the side that he refers to as his 'friend' that he wants to invite into your bedroom, a red flag should go up. A married man...with a friend...who discusses sex...they are most likely messing around any way and he is looking for a way to justify his wrongdoing by bringing you into the picture. If that in fact isn't the case and your husband is not cheating on you then basically, he is bored with what you do in the bedroom. It's time for you to spice up your personal sex life because you have to look at the possibilities of what will happen if you go through with the threesome. Let's analyze it. What if she does the things that you don't do or what if he shows her more affection than he shows you? You are now put in the position to compete with a woman over your man. What if you walk in your home only to catch your husband with her in an intimate setting without you? You've opened the door to it so, it's not a big deal, right? Sometimes, you need not put yourself in bad situations. Be three steps ahead. Start doing the things that make him forget about any other woman. If you aren't into doing or trying new things, try new places to do the things you like. Men like spontaneity. ALOT.

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#AskEmily 7.15.2012 "The Sidepiece"

Hey girl. I've been my boss's sidepiece for almost 5 years now. He always says he's gonna leave his wife but never does. He doesn't treat me bad, but I want more. What do I do?

Tamara

Tamara,

Sometimes, you have to look deep into a situation and sometimes, the answer is right there in your face. The answer to your question is right in your face. Let's break this down.

#1. SIDEPIECE

That's it. We have all heard the phrase ' know your role'. You have put yourself in a situation where you have allowed a married man to have you in his life for more than a friendship and when you take on a role as the woman on the side, you have know your role. Your role is one of control. 5 years of a relationship where you are giving him what he wants and you aren't getting what you want back should resonate with you. If you were in a 5 year relationship with a single man that was giving you nothing in return to what you were putting out wouldn't go on because you would leave him. This is a married man and you have yet to leave. There is something wrong with this picture.

What you should do is find your own man. Like the old saying does--how you get 'em is how you lose 'em--even if he left his wife for you, how would you feel once he leaves you for the next woman in the same manner that he left his wife? Put yourself in the wife's shoes. How would you feel if you found out that your husband was participating in extramarital affairs?

You will not get more than what you are getting. If you want more, it is your best bet to find your own man that can focus on you and your needs.

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#AskEmily 2.4.2012 "Spice"

Hey Emily..I need it all the time from my girl. My favorite position is doggystyle, but she feels like its not romantic enough. What can I do to spice up the bedroom w/romance, but still get my freak on?

There is nothing wrong with switching things up to make her feel like it's about her. If you need it all of the time and she is giving it to you, you should want to at least let her enjoy it. Women like for their men to be in control. Most women at least. If she is the control type, she would be the one to jump in your lap and ready to ride you around the house. At the same time, as much as we want you guys to be in control, we want you guys to treat us like little princess...queens.

Now...if you just don't care how she feels, still do what you like but in a more romantic fashion. My recommendation: since you love doggystyle, give her doggy BUT...instead of her arching her back and letting you pound away, tell her to lie on her tummy and close her legs. You put your legs on the outside of hers, tell her to toot it up and slide in. Add a bit of romance--hot oils. Drizzle the oil down the center of her back and rub her back with every stroke. Now...this is NOT a 'beat it down Brown' position so GO SLOW. A scream in this position is not enjoyment. You should only hear moans. Make sure you instruct her to do exactly what you want her to do and if you make her feel good, she will be silly putty in your hands. You get your doggy, she gets a little romance.

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#AskEmily 2.2.2012 "Lady In The Streets..."

Hey Emily. My man loves me so much but needs me to be a "hoe" in the bedroom. What can u do to spice up our sex life?

Well, I can't come into the bedroom and show you what you need to do to BUUUT...One thing I can say is you have to have an open mind. Not saying you should go against any instilled values and morals you may have to keep him happy because truth be told, if he loves you, he will still respect your wishes. If you are willing to try it and the two of you enjoy it then expect him to want it more often. For example: ANAL or even a THREESOME. If you don't mind trying it, do it. However, what if you don't like it and he does? Are you willing to continue to do it despite how you feel or just get used to it? If the answer is 'none of the above' then I advise you to decline.

If you aren't sure what he likes...ASK. Ask him what he wants you to do. If he is unsure, he is definitely tired of the monotony and it is time to wing it. Think of the things you want him to do that he doesn't do and incorporate those into the spice. One thing you never want to do is bruise your man's ego so if he seems uneasy, tell him that you are trying something new too to ease him.

Now...we've heard the classic 'lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets' line, but personally, when I want to get my guy all riled up, I'll get it started in public. If you aren't yet comfortable with starting to do new things in the bedroom, change the way/places you get his engine revved. Let's just say you go to dinner. Ask the waiter for a table in the back of the restaurant. When the waiter leaves, make your way under the table and bury your face in his lap. He's not gonna scream because you are in public...he won't tell you to stop either. Now, with a surprise like that, you could probably go home and do the same things you normally do and he will still be blown away because you've taken him to a different world MENTALLY. It will keep him on his toes waiting to see what you will pull out of your bag of tricks.

That's the key.

...but NEVER forget--he loves you. It will take time but don't take too long. You don't want him to start looking elsewhere for the pleasure that you have the capability of providing him with.

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#AskEmily 1.26.2012 'Dirty Talk'

Hey Emily. My man likes me to talk dirty to him in the bedroom and role playing. I'm kind of shy. What should I do? Help!

Rule #1: What you won't do for your man, another woman will.

When it comes to relationships, it seems that females find it more simple to/are more interested in pleasing another woman's man rather than finding her own to make him happy. So, as women, we have to now go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure our men do not have a wandering eye. [Women] know men are hard to please however, I think you are pretty lucky that your man has told you what he likes and expects from you in the bedroom because most women have to GUESS what their men want & whether what they are giving them is sufficient. So, the question is--would you rather be too shy or have to question why is he coming in late and where did the make-up on his collar come from? Want to drive him crazy? SURPRISE HIM. Halloween isn't the only time you can play dress up. Visit your local sex store & scoop up a few pieces. He wants you to talk dirty to him? Get an outfit that makes you feel the 'dirtiest'. My suggestion? a fishnet bodysuit--crotchless. Meet & greet him at the door & take charge from there. Role playing? Grab a sexy nurse outfit. Low on funds? Show up to his office in a trench coat & heels. Is he at home waiting for you? Call him up & ask him to help you in the house with the groceries, walk in in your lingerie & lead him to as far as he will let you go. If all else fails, all you need is a pair of heels. Leave 'em on the entire time. :) Whatever you need to do to make your man pitch a tent when he thinks about the things you did to him the night, DO IT.

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#AskEmily 1.20.2012: I cheated on wifey with a girl from the club. Do I tell wifey or not?

Dear Emily:

I cheated on wifey with a girl from the club. Do I tell wifey or not? By the way I'm still seeing the jump-off too. What do I do? Help!

-Steve C.

Steve...

What's in a name? Personally, the term 'wifey' doesn't mean much. 'Wifey' is a type--not the wife, but you treat her like it; the prototype. HOWEVER--if you respect her enough to put her on a pedestal to call her that, why are you cheating on her? You have a jump off AND you hit the chick from the club--what do you do? CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS TO SINGLE. That way, you won't owe anyone an explanation on where you stick your stick. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Marriage isn't meant for everyone. It takes a strong man to admit that he isn't ready to relinquish his bachelor lifestyle.

...but if this is the WIFE, a female partner that you are in a marital relationship with, please believe that you will not have to tell her because she will find out. If you decide to tell her & she seems to not care much, it is because she's seeing her boss and still screwing the ex boyfriend or your best friend. It's called 'Karma' and she is MEAN.

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